For anyone who has ever eagerly picked up the phone expecting to hear a friend on the line, only to spend the next few minutes trying to politely get rid of a cold caller.

I do not need new windows, nor do I need a door.

No, not a thing has changed, since the time we spoke before.

I haven’t been in an accident, not recently or back then.

So thanks for your enquiry, but please don’t call again.

Your legal advice is excellent, but I don’t need to make a claim.

I don’t suppose you’d tell me, where you got my name.

There’s no chance of PPI, because I’ve never had a loan.

I’m sorry I can’t help you more, but please get off the phone.

Yes I understand your point , but the banks, they owe me nought.

Now manners are important, at least that’s what I was taught.

But though its not polite, I really have to say.

Stop calling this number, please just go away!